I received a phone call last week from a devastated spouse who said, “I
can’t believe it, I have been married, I thought happily, for 9
years, and today my spouse said, ‘I want a divorce. I’m not
happy. I want to be happy. This marriage is over!’”
She said her whole life just flashed before her eyes. She didn’t
see this coming and didn’t know what to do. The main concern was
that she had given up her career as an accountant and had stayed home
and supported the efforts of her spouse, who had achieved great success
and created a growing dental franchise in three nearby states. Now she
feared what lay ahead financially for herself and their children.
As a divorce attorney and mediator for over 35 years, I discussed all her
options including the use of my unique divorce mediation process that
can save money and time!
There are still many spouses who give up careers to stay at home to raise
children. They often spend most of their marriage helping to support,
and in some cases, to build their spouse’s careers/businesses in
the best interest of the family. But, if at some point you or your partner
want out of the marriage, will you be prepared? Will you be able to survive
The answer is Yes! But I strongly suggest you always keep your finger on
the financial pulse of your marriage and family. Don’t be in the
dark. Don’t leave all the financial decisions to your spouse. Insist
on being a partner in all the financial decisions and know where all the
money is invested. Look at all bills, statements, payments, etc. Don’t
forget about yourself along the way, keep your skills sharp and remember
to stay present in your marriage. Always put aside some money for yourself!
Here are my six tips for building financial safety in the event of a divorce:
- Make a plan before you move forward with a divorce. Sometimes you won’t
have that luxury, especially if your spouse walks through the door and
says, “I want a divorce.” So be prepared. Evaluate your skills,
finances, and ability to support yourself financially.
- If you find yourself falling behind on taking care of yourself and your
skills, you may want to take some classes or become certified in a particular
- If you have skills and can return to work, update your resume and explore
what opportunities exist. Create a work-at-home opportunity for yourself
and start networking with friends already in the work force.
- If you don’t have separate assets, consider having a separate bank
account, set one up and start saving some money. You will need money for
a retainer for an attorney or mediator if divorce does rear its ugly head.
- Review all your expenses. Make a budget. What are you spending now? What
will you be able to spend after the divorce for your own household? Know
how much you will need to survive. Start implementing changes to cut back
on expenses, and put some money aside for yourself.
- Visualize the Life You Want! Your life will change after divorce. Some
things will be better, others more challenging. Think about where you
want to live, what type of career you will embark on, and how you will
be prepared financially to handle all of these changes.
If you are considering divorce and concerned about financial safety, I
want you to feel encouraged and empowered by “being prepared”
if divorce should occur in your marriage.
Call me today and I will help you prepare emotionally and financially for
the next steps. We can also discuss my money-saving divorce mediation process!
As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I have been
successfully guiding divorcing families using compassion, keen legal strategy,
and unique psychological insight for over 35 years.
Speak with me so I can educate you, explain what you are entitled to, and
give you some suggestions on how to financially move forward with your divorce.
Call me now to schedule your free consultation. 212.734.1551.
I promise to listen, and I will give you good advice.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner if you are concerned about your
finances if you get divorced!
We have a few appointments still available this week!