Divorcing a controlling and manipulative spouse can be a scary and daunting
process. However, it is essential to prioritize your well-being and regain
control of your life, and I can help you!
As a medically trained divorce attorney/mediator for more than 35 years,
I suggest you do the following to prepare yourself to leave this type
of toxic relationship:
Educate Yourself on Your Rights
Divorce knowledge is power. Understand your legal rights, entitlements,
and obligations. Consult with a divorce attorney/mediator to ensure you
have a clear understanding of the legal process and how it applies to
your specific situation.
Establish a Support System
Dealing with a controlling and manipulative spouse can be emotionally draining.
Build a strong support system comprising trusted friends, family members,
or a therapist. Surrounding yourself with empathetic and understanding
individuals will provide you with the emotional support needed during
this challenging time.
Seek Professional Guidance
Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor specializing in divorce
and relationship issues. Professional guidance can assist you in navigating
the emotional complexities of divorcing a controlling and manipulative
spouse. A therapist can also help you build resilience and develop strategies
for effective communication and setting boundaries.
As part of my comprehensive divorce approach, I often recommend psychologists/psychiatrists
who are part of my team to assist in the overall divorce process.
Establish Boundaries and Communicate Assertively
During mediation/divorce proceedings, it is essential to establish clear
boundaries with your spouse. Don’t bargain with your spouse directly.
Communicate assertively and firmly, expressing your needs and expectations.
Avoid engaging in arguments or allowing yourself to be drawn into emotional
manipulation.
Consult with a Skilled Attorney/Mediator
A knowledgeable divorce attorney/mediator with experience in dealing with
controlling and manipulative spouses can be your strongest advocate. He
or she will provide legal advice, protect your rights, and guide you through
the divorce process. A skilled attorney can help you navigate negotiations,
handle potential confrontations, and ensure a fair settlement.
I have a unique combination of medical/psychological and legal skills that
puts anyone dealing with a mentally ill spouse in the driver’s seat
in navigating a divorce.
Prepare for Financial Independence
If your controlling spouse has had a significant role in managing the finances,
it is crucial to become financially independent. Gather financial documentation,
including bank statements, tax returns, and investment records.
Consult with a financial advisor to understand your financial situation
and plan for your future. Consider seeking employment or improving your
job skills to secure your financial stability.
Divorcing a controlling and manipulative spouse can be an arduous journey,
but with the right strategies and support, you can emerge stronger and
regain control of your life.
Here are a few signs you are being controlled by your spouse:
- You don’t have knowledge of financial information, including income.
- You have separate bank accounts and savings.
- You are encouraged to stop working.
- You are discouraged from seeing your friends and family.
- You are the object of disparaging and threatening comments.
- You are criticized constantly.

My advice? Find the strength to end a controlling marriage! Call me, and
I will help you!
As a divorce attorney/mediator with more than 35 years experience, my unique
combination of legal and medical training can be very effective when it
comes to helping a spouse gain freedom from a controlling spouse.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Warm regards,
Lois
New York divorce attorney Lois Brenner still has some appointments available
this week.
Please call to schedule your free informative consultation now.
We can book a consultation for you immediately!
Call 212.734.1551