Discovering that your spouse may be cheating on you is a distressing and
challenging situation. While signs of infidelity do not definitively prove
they are cheating, they may indicate the possibility of an affair.
As a divorce attorney/mediator, I advise spouses that it's important
to approach the situation with caution and sensitivity. Be prepared for
what you might find!
From my over 35 years of working with cheating spouses, I have developed
a list of 10 telltale signs that your spouse may be cheating on you:
1. Sudden Changes in Behavior
Becoming more secretive, distant, or defensive. They may also show a lack
of interest in activities or conversations that they previously enjoyed.
2. Increased Secrecy With Their Phone
If your spouse becomes overly protective of their phone, such as guarding
it closely, setting passcodes, or suddenly being secretive about their
messages or calls, it could be a sign of infidelity.
3. Unusual Working Hours or Frequent Business Trips
Your spouse may start working late regularly or going on more business
trips than usual. These could provide opportunities for them to spend
time with someone else.
4. Lack of Intimacy and Emotional Distance
If there is a sudden decline in physical intimacy or your spouse appears
emotionally distant, it may indicate that their attention and affection
are directed elsewhere.
5. Unexplained Expenses or Financial Discrepancies
Look out for unexplained expenses on credit card statements or discrepancies
in finances. This could suggest that your spouse is spending money on
activities related to an affair.
6. Changes in Appearance
Your spouse might start paying more attention to their appearance, such
as dressing differently, losing weight, or adopting new grooming habits.
While this alone doesn't indicate infidelity, it could be a factor
7. Increased Arguments and Defensiveness
A cheating spouse may become defensive or argumentative when confronted
about their behavior. They may try to deflect blame or avoid discussing
the issue altogether.
8. Unavailability and Excuses
If your spouse frequently makes excuses for not being available, cancels
plans at the last minute, or is vague about their whereabouts, it could
be a sign that they are spending time with someone else
9. Unusual or Secretive Social Media Activity
Your spouse may exhibit secretive behavior on social media, such as creating
new accounts, changing privacy settings, or hiding their online activity from you.
10. Gut Feeling and Intuition
Trust your instincts. If something feels off in your relationship and your
gut is telling you that your spouse may be cheating, it's worth exploring
further and having an open conversation.
Discovering that your spouse is cheating on you can be an incredibly painful
and emotionally challenging experience.
As a divorce attorney/mediator, when I speak to brokenhearted spouses,
they share with me their feelings of betrayal, anger, and confusion.
While dealing with these emotions, it's essential to understand the
steps you should take if you decide that divorce is your best course of action.
1. Seek Emotional Support
Before proceeding with any legal steps, it's crucial to prioritize
your emotional well-being. Reach out to trusted friends, family members,
or a therapist who can provide the support you need during this difficult
time. Talking to someone can help you process your emotions and make clearer
decisions moving forward.
2. Gather Evidence
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, it's essential to gather evidence
to support your claims. Document any suspicious behavior, conversations,
or other relevant information. This evidence can be useful during divorce
proceedings, especially if infidelity affects child custody, alimony,
or division of assets.
3. Consult with an Attorney/Mediator
Once you have decided to pursue a divorce, it's vital to consult with
a reputable family law attorney who specializes in divorce cases. They
will guide you through the legal process, explain your rights, and help
you understand the potential outcomes based on your specific circumstances.
4. Consider Mediation or Collaborative Divorce
If you and your spouse are open to it, alternative dispute resolution methods
like mediation can help you reach a more amicable settlement. These processes
involve working with neutral professionals who can facilitate communication,
negotiation, and problem-solving without going to court.
As a medical and psychologically trained divorce attorney/mediator, I have
created a unique divorce process that provides a comprehensive approach
to help spouses hurt by cheating to dissolve their marriages.
5. Secure Your Finances
When infidelity is involved, it's crucial to protect your financial
interests. Monitor joint accounts, gather financial documents, and consider
opening a separate bank account in your name. Notify credit card companies
and financial institutions about the potential divorce to prevent unauthorized
If you are moving towards divorce due to infidelity, as a skilled divorce
attorney and mediator, I can help you navigate the process with strong
psychological support and strategic legal planning. I will help you to
keep your life intact and get you and your family the best possible results.
All our highly informative 1-Hour Consultations are FREE!
All consultations and mediation sessions are conveniently still available
I look forward to speaking with you.
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner right now if your spouse is cheating on you!
Schedule your free consultation today! 212.734.1551