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To Trick or Treat?



What divorcing/divorced parents can do so Halloween isn’t a nightmare!

When you got divorced did you discuss Halloween as part of your visitation schedule? Probably not. After all it’s not Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hannukkah! But it is probably a very important holiday to your children.

In my experience as a divorce attorney for over 35 years, I can tell you, how you handle Halloween will make all the difference to your little ghosts and goblins. During our family mediation sessions, we flesh out all the important details of your visitation schedule. Your children will be happy to know we always remember to include Halloween!

I have suggestions on how divorcing/divorced couples can handle this scary holiday so it’s a treat, and not a trick:

  1. Ask yourself, what do your children want;
  1. Which parent is going to help in creating or purchasing the halloween costume;
  1. Children usually want to be with friends in their neighborhood and so which parent is going to go trick-or-treating with the children.

Mom? Dad? Both?

  1. If you decorate your home or lawn which parent will help?

I say:

  • Plan in advance-have a strategy;
  • Try to maintain Halloween family traditions if at all possible;
  • Speak with your spouse. Arrive at an agreement and then enthusiastically share the Halloween plans with your children;

Present a happy, united front.

  • Share the holiday if you can’t tolerate spending it together. While you’re working on the home decorating and baking pumpkin cookies have your spouse tackle the face painting and costume preparation. Share trick-or-treating time. You trick-or-treat with your children for half the time, and your spouse handles the other half. (Don’t forget to dress up yourself. That’s always fun.)
  • In your separation agreement you can also stipulate you want to alternate Halloween visitation. One year mom takes Halloween, the next year dad takes Halloween and so on.

This holiday, in particular, is really important to children. It’s best to put your anger aside and try to make decisions in the best interest of your children.

If you are wrestling with your visitation schedule, call me.

As part of my successful family mediation process, I can help you work out all the important visitation details. 212.734.1551

Have a Spooktacular Halloween!

Lois (Boo!)