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Is Poor Mental Health Destroying Your Marriage?


We see all kinds of abusive relationships in the news but do you know many marriages end today because one party is dealing with mental health issues that result in abusive behaviors that destroy marriages?

Today a person facing divorce Googles “books” online, visits, or reads my blog after a barrage of confusing advice from friends and relatives.

You decide, before seeing a lawyer, you want to read a book to help prepare for the costly and wrenching experience you are about to endure.

You will find several standard guides with such titles as “The Divorce Handbook,” “Consultation with a Divorce Lawyer,” “Verbal Abuse,” or “Mediation.” These books will tell you what to expect as you begin the legal process of separation and divorce. Such books provide explanations of the procedures of divorce in the traditional system, from the first consultation with an attorney to the final settlement and decree.

After reading them, you will know a great deal about the adversarial system and about mediation in general, but virtually nothing about the psychology of divorce.

The central truth about divorce today is that divorce is a “psychological experience.” Divorce is far more than just what’s in the court papers or what a judge decides.

Divorce is about people, psychology, and the emotional health of a couple. The traditional divorce system is a adversarial, lengthy, and costly process which completely ignores the psychological component of divorce and is far more interested in conflict and cost.

During my 35 years as a divorce attorney, psychologically-trained medical professional, and court-appointed mediator, I have developed a psychologically-based divorce process that is highly effective, whether litigating or mediating, and most important, healing.

My method involves behavior modifications, the use of psychology--identifying personality and character traits, emotions, family dynamics, and skillfully applying the law to develop strategies tailored to each couple for a more productive and positive experience. My approach is less adversarial, less expensive, and less time-consuming than the traditional system.

I engage couples in a productive discussion and effective decision-making, which leads to healthier, more positive outcomes.

Unlike the standard divorce approach, this method takes into consideration the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that affect divorcing couples, and which, if properly identified, can be used to leverage a more successful and calmer outcome.

It addresses the pervasive presence of verbal abuse in its many HIDDEN forms which include:

  • Criticizing
  • Hiding finances
  • Blaming
  • Controlling
  • Threatening
  • Denial
  • Insulting
  • Withholding
  • Ignoring
  • Gas lighting
  • Separating from friends and family
  • Verbal abuse disguised as jokes

Most attorneys treat divorce as a purely legal (and adversarial) experience. I don’t!

Divorce is not based solely on the law. It’s about you! All of you! That includes the psychological makeup of both you and your spouse.

I know taking this step won’t be easy, but gaining your freedom and happiness will be worth it. As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I am uniquely qualified to provide you with the psychological and legal strategy necessary to remove yourself safely from the grip of a mentally unhealthy marriage. Call me now to find out more…

During the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic, all our Free 1 Hour Consultations are conducted virtually to reduce risk and maintain safety.

I look forward to speaking with you!

Continue to stay healthy and safe!

Warm regards,


New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner is available right now for a FREE consultation.

Call 212.734.1551.