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Are You Afraid to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce?


A player from a major league baseball team called my office and scheduled a phone consultation.

His wife seemed to have bipolar disorder and/or depression. He had tried to cope with it for many years, especially as he was on the road a lot, but he felt it was taking a toll on their children who are 6 & 9 years old. They were left to cope with her frequent drinking and temper tantrums.

Things only got worse during the pandemic.

He knew he wanted a divorce, but he was afraid to tell her. He feared she would get hysterical and be thoroughly unreasonable. He did not want to have to call the police under any circumstances. He was trying to avoid a bad confrontation and was paralyzed by the thought.

During our consultation I advised him to suggest to his wife that they go to some therapy sessions so the therapist could guide "them" on how to get along better. By verbally taking responsibility for their difficulties, and using this approach he was able to convince her to see a psychiatrist I recommended who often deals with couples where one of them does not want a divorce. This psychiatrist is really skilled and offers very effective techniques.

After several sessions with the doctor, he was able to talk to his wife about divorce in the doctor’s office and convince her he would take good care of her and their children, which was exactly the reassurance she needed. The doctor also recommended medication for the wife, who was diagnosed as being bipolar, which would help her through the difficult process and help her feel better moving forward.

Although we went back and forth about litigation or mediation, since I can do both, we discussed the pros and cons and the husband decided to introduce mediation to his wife.

Instead of going to court and fighting, they both decided to try my psychologically-infused mediation method, a peaceful and non-adversarial system I have devised with my medical background, using a knowledge of their personalities and character traits to help them come to a fair agreement in a secure, thoughtful environment.

By engaging in this discreet process, the couple was able to keep their separation out of the press, maintain their dignity, and we arrived at a fair settlement.

If you are afraid to tell your spouse you want a divorce, give me a call and I will help you make a plan to ease the pain of confronting the problem.

Take advantage of my free one hour consultation. These consultations are really informative. I will answer all your questions!

All consultations and mediation sessions are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Stay healthy & safe!

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Lawyer, Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation. 212.734.1551