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10 Clever Ways to Divorce a Narcissist!


Divorcing a narcissist can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally draining process. Narcissists often exhibit manipulative behaviors, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy, making the divorce proceedings combative and more complex.

As a seasoned, medically trained divorce attorney and mediator with a special expertise in narcissism, I have developed a list to guide you on how to carefully and successfully divorce a narcissist.

1. Understanding Narcissism

Before delving into the strategies, it's crucial to understand the traits and behaviors associated with narcissism. Narcissists tend to have an excessive need for admiration, lack empathy, exploit others for personal gain, and have a fragile self-esteem. Recognizing these traits can help you anticipate and prepare for their actions during the divorce proceedings.

2. Assemble a Support System

Divorcing a narcissist can be isolating and emotionally draining. Build a strong support system consisting of friends, family, a therapist, and a legal team experienced in dealing with high-conflict divorces. Having a network that understands the dynamics involved will provide the emotional and practical support you will need to get the best results.

3. Keep Good Records

Narcissists often engage in gaslighting and manipulation. Keep a detailed record of all communication, including emails, text messages, and phone calls. Document instances of verbal abuse, threats, or any attempts at manipulation. This documentation will serve as evidence in court and protect your credibility.

4. Choose the Right Legal Representation

Select an attorney/mediator experienced in dealing with high-conflict divorces involving narcissistic personalities. Your attorney/mediator should be knowledgeable about manipulative tactics and capable of staying focused on your best interests despite attempts to distract or manipulate.

5. Set Boundaries

Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. Establish clear boundaries regarding communication, visitation, and co-parenting arrangements. If possible, communicate through your attorney/mediator or a third party to minimize direct contact and potential conflicts.

6. Focus on Mediation and Settlement

As a divorce attorney and mediator, I often suggest mediation as an approach to divorcing a narcissist since litigation can escalate conflicts and prolong the divorce process. Explore mediation and settlement options where a neutral third party can help facilitate agreements. This approach can help maintain a more amicable tone while avoiding unnecessary stress.

7. Protect Your Assets

Narcissists might attempt to hide assets or manipulate financial information to gain an upper hand in the divorce settlement. Work with financial professionals to thoroughly examine your marital finances and uncover any discrepancies.

8. Keep Your Children's Best Interests in Mind

Narcissistic parents may try to use children as pawns or attempt to alienate them from you. Maintain open communication with your children and consider involving a child psychologist if needed.

9. Stay Calm and Rational

Narcissists may provoke emotional reactions to fuel their sense of control. Respond to their tactics with calm and rationality. Emotional outbursts can be used against you, so maintaining composure is crucial.

10. Be Prepared for a Battle

Divorcing a narcissist is rarely straightforward. Be mentally prepared for a challenging process. Expect the unexpected, and focus on your long-term goals rather than getting caught up in short-term conflicts.

Divorcing a narcissist requires clever, careful planning, emotional resilience, and a strong legal and psychological support network.

Remember, you don’t have to walk this divorce path alone, and with the right divorce team and strategies in place, you can emerge from this challenging experience stronger and more empowered.

A narcissistic spouse will be ready to do battle. You will need an attorney/mediator skilled in handling a narcissist to gain your freedom and prevail in obtaining a successful divorce.

If I can help you navigate a safe path out of this type of marriage, let me know.

I am familiar with the traits of a narcissist and uniquely trained as both a medical professional and divorce attorney to help you successfully and safely divorce the narcissist in your life.

Schedule your free consultation today! Let us help you prepare for a challenging but successful divorce process. We will be there every step of the way providing comprehensive legal and psychological support.

Being informed and fully prepared will put you in the driver’s seat.

Take charge of your life now. Call us today!

Warm regards,


Divorcing a narcissist takes courage and an attorney skilled at combating the toxic behaviors of a narcissist.

Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation.

Call 212.734.1551