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Men in Marriages Can Be Victims of Abuse Too!


When we think of spousal abuse we often hear the wife is being abused, but men get abused too, and I have helped many of them.

I have worked with quite a few men in the last year who all found themselves in very emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive relationships with their wives.

For a man, recognizing he is being abused is often difficult and emotionally distressing. In some cases, he doesn’t even realize that he is being abused. For a man there can be a lot of shame and embarrassment attached to knowing they are being abused by their wife.

As a psychologically trained medical professional and divorce attorney, I am uniquely qualified to work with men in abusive relationships.

First, I provide a safe and supportive environment for them to express their feelings, and give them a platform to be heard, respected and understood. In addition, for those that might not recognize they are in an abusive relationship, I can help them realize they are being abused, and provide support and suggestions on how to productively and safely engage with their spouse or not.

By the time a man consults with me, he is already considering separation, possibly divorce, but often feels really conflicted.

For those who want to invite their wives to participate in a meeting to discuss the marital issues, we strategize an email so I can help them as a couple navigate a civil and informed discussion.

My psychologically-based divorce mediation process is comprehensive and includes:

  • Listening to both parties;
  • Acknowledging what they both need and want;
  • Encouraging them to speak to each other in productive ways;
  • Discouraging talking about the past;
  • Identifying the abusive behavior and addressing the “elephant in the room” with both;
  • Providing a safe and supportive environment for productive discussions to thrive;
  • Helping them address and make decisions together on all the important legal issues like: child custody, spousal support, visitation, asset allocation and property division, just to name a few;
  • Guiding them towards the best solutions for their marital problems, whether it be therapy for possible reconciliation, or to address mental health issues, mediation to dissolve the marriage in a peaceful manner, or in some cases litigation because the anger runs too deep and communication is impossible.

Some of you may be asking - “What does abuse look like?” Here are a few signs:

  • Constantly putting you down;
  • Humiliating or embarrassing you in front of others;
  • Refusing to communicate;
  • Using sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice;
  • Using children or money for control;
  • Withdrawal of affection;
  • Guilt trips;
  • Making everything your fault;
  • Isolating you from friends and family;
  • Extramarital affairs.

If you are being abused and yourself hurt and confused by the behaviors of your spouse and are thinking of separation or divorce, call me.

I can help you identify if you are in an abusive relationship, and I will help you successfully navigate a peaceful path to divorce.

As a medically trained divorce attorney/mediator, I can help you free yourself from an abusive marriage using strategy and psychological skill. No one deserves to be abused. There is no reason to suffer in silence.

Take a very important step right now. Pick up the phone and call me.

I will provide you with a supportive and safe environment for you to express your needs and get the help you need!

Warm regards,


If you are being abused by your spouse call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner right now to schedule your free consultation.

Call 212.734.1551 today!