With over 35 years of experience as a divorce attorney and psychologically
trained mediator, I am a strong advocate for divorce with dignity. I have
mastered techniques using psychology and sound legal strategy to get couples
through the divorce process without going insane or draining their bank accounts.
In my many years of practicing law and medicine and treating personality
and mood disorders, I have learned that separation and divorce are not
simply legal issues. Psychological issues drive the divorce process in
a crucial way.
After witnessing the emotional pain of many couples day after day, I decided
to develop a unique psychologically infused mediation process to tackle
divorce in a more humane and civil way. My divorce technique addresses
both the head (legal strategy), and heart (emotions)
of the divorce process. This ground-breaking method of marrying legal strategy
and psychology saves couples time, money and pain.
The central truth about divorce today is that divorce is a “psychological”
experience. Divorce is far more than just what’s in the court papers,
or what a judge decides. Divorce is about people, psychology and the emotional
health of a couple. The traditional divorce system is a conflict-based,
lengthy, and expensive process that completely ignores the psychological
divorce and is far more concerned with conflict and cost.
Why fight when you can discuss, negotiate, and participate in a thoughtful
and peaceful divorce process? My divorce mediation method involves behavior
modifications, the use of psychology - identifying personality and character
family dynamics, and applying the law to develop strategies for a more
positive experience and
successful outcome. My divorce approach is powerful, positive and productive
with a special emphasis on the psychology of divorce!
Mediation is a negotiated process between divorcing spouses on the important
property, spousal and child support, custody and visitation. As the divorce
mediator, my role is to keep you talking, on track, to make sure negotiations
are reasonable and to offer creative suggestions when you hit a roadblock.
The focus of mediation is for you to control your own divorce. Spouses
have the opportunity to discuss their personal needs and priorities and
to arrive together at an agreement that is fair to both of them.
What divorcing couples feel, think and do has a huge impact on both the
process and the substantive outcome of divorce. Using my divorce method,
divorcing couples can get better results and make their journey less adversarial.
For couples who have never traveled the divorce path before, it can be
scary, confusing and overwhelming. When it comes to divorce, the legal
system is, by its very nature is adversarial, pitting people against each
other with the promise of only one winner and with no room for
compromise. I say, “ If you once were in love, able to organize your
lives and build a life together, you should be able to discuss and plan
your lives to dissolve your marriage and to live apart.”
I often explain to spouses that with mediation there are no losers; everyone
is a winner. Mediation offers the opportunity to see your divorce and
your spouse through a different lens.
As individuals go through the process of separation and divorce, it would
be unnatural if people did not have feelings. Husbands and wives may feel
hurt, angry, disappointed, scared, insulted and/or abused. As a result,
divorcing individuals frequently do the following things, which raise
the stakes and often cannot be undone:
1. Take all of the money out of joint savings, checking and investment accounts;
2. Change the locks on the marital residence;
3. Prevent their spouse from seeing the children;
4. Stop paying household bills;
5. Cut off access to credit cards or use them to charge up a storm;
6. Turn off the family phone plan;
7. Insult each other;
8. Threaten a spouse, saying things such as "I will take the children
away from you" and “I will not pay the bills.”
I cannot emphasize enough how many divorcing couples have either done these
things or tell me they are planning to do them. Spouses do things out
of anger and fear to protect themselves from what they anticipate the
other will do and for revenge.
At a first consultation, I discuss strategy with clients to determine what
steps should and should not be taken so the client is making choices based
on logic and choices that will not be used against him or her or end up
in court when litigation can be reasonably avoided without unfortunate
Have I gotten your attention? Would you like to learn more about my highly
successful psychologically-infused divorce mediation process?
If so, call me. I will answer all your questions.
Having a highly skilled and effective attorney/mediator to help facilitate
a healthy, informative, conversation about divorce can be an effective
first step. Let’s take it together.
FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are veryinformative and conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.
Call me to learn what is possible!
I look forward to speaking with you.
Stay healthy and safe!
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to schedule your free consultation.