As much as we wish to believe that our significant other would never cheat
on us, infidelity unfortunately happens in many relationships. It can
be devastating to discover that your spouse has been unfaithful, but it's
important to be aware of the signs that may indicate that something is
amiss in your relationship.
Do you lie awake at night and wonder? Do you have a feeling in the pit
of your stomach most of the time? You know something is not quite right,
but you can’t put your finger on it. Do you think your spouse is
cheating? Are you afraid to ask? Do you think you need proof?
I say, pay attention to those little voices and your spouse’s texts,
phone calls, and emails. Your instinct could be right!
In my divorce/mediation practice of over 35 years, I have seen cheating
spouses more than I’d like to admit.
I find intuition is often one of the best indicators that something is
wrong. Further investigation is probably necessary. Once you have reviewed
all the behavior changes and collected some data, think about doing some
investigative work by hiring a professional to look further. Be calm,
strong and honest with yourself. Be prepared for any outcome. Remember,
if your spouse is cheating, also be prepared for lots of lies!
Don’t bury your head in the sand, if the signs are there, take notice.
You’re probably right. Don’t ignore your suspicions.
Here are 8 telltale signs your spouse may be cheating on you.
1. Increased secrecy: If your spouse is suddenly guarding their phone or
computer, hiding their screen or keeping their passwords a secret, this
may be a sign that they are communicating with someone they don't
want you to know about.
2. Changes in routine: If your spouse starts coming home late from work,
leaving for work earlier than usual, or spending more time away from home,
it may be a sign that they are using that time to be with someone else.
3. Lack of intimacy: If your spouse suddenly loses interest in being intimate
with you or is avoiding physical contact, it may be a sign that they are
getting their needs met elsewhere.
4. Unexplained expenses: If you notice that your spouse is suddenly spending
more money than usual, or if there are unexplained charges on their credit
card or bank statements, it may be a sign that they are trying to hide
the cost of an affair.
5. Defensive behavior: If your spouse becomes defensive or angry when you
ask them about their behavior or whereabouts, it may be a sign that they
are trying to hide something.
Emotional distance: If your spouse seems emotionally distant or disconnected
from you, it may be a sign that they are focusing their emotional energy
on someone else.
6. Lack of eye contact: If your spouse avoids eye contact with you or seems
uncomfortable when you look them in the eye, it may be a sign that they
are feeling guilty about something.
7. Sudden interest in appearance: If your spouse suddenly starts paying
more attention to their appearance, buying new clothes, or wearing more
makeup than usual, it may be a sign that they are trying to impress someone else.
Increased criticism: If your spouse suddenly starts criticizing you more
often or seems to be picking fights with you for no reason, it may be
a sign that they are trying to justify their behavior.
8. Gut feeling: Finally, if you have a gut feeling that something is off
in your relationship, it's important to trust your intuition. While
it's not always accurate, it's important to pay attention to your
instincts and investigate further if you have a feeling that your spouse
may be cheating.
For some, saving a marriage is possible. Although trust has been broken
and betrayal is painful, some marriages can survive. From what I have
seen when a marriage does survive it is because the couple has a strong
foundation based on friendship and love. I applaud these couples for their
strength to recover.
For others, clearly the marriage is over. Now you have to start the painful
journey of divorce. But divorce doesn’t always have to be adversarial.
Divorce can be dignified. I encourage all of my couples to consider a
divorce that is less painful, more rational, not anger driven and is supportive
of the overall well-being of the family.
Years ago I developed a dignified divorce mediation process to address
divorce positively. This method keeps a couple on track, promotes constructive
discussion, provides emotional support, lends a voice of reason to conversations,
and concludes in a fair settlement agreement. My unique process takes
less time, costs less money and is less painful.
If you are experiencing any, or all of the above, please call me to go
over your case, and to discuss your concerns.
If you are moving towards divorce due to infidelity, I can help you navigate
the process with strong psychological support and fair, strategic legal
planning to keep your life intact and to help get you and your family
the best possible results.
As a psychologically trained and experienced divorce attorney and mediator
with a successful track record of over 35 years, I can help you!
All our
FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS areconveniently conducted virtually.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Warm regards,
Lois
Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner Now!!
Don’t stay in an unhappy marriage with a cheating spouse!
Call 212.734.1551