After working with many spouses dealing with various personality disorders
over the last 35 years as a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator,
I developed a unique psychologically based legal process that effectively
identifies and addresses the complexities of divorcing a spouse with a
personality disorder. My approach is compassionate, medically diagnostic,
and legally strategic with powerful and productive results.
Personality disorders can have a significant impact on marriages, often
leading to difficulties with communication, emotional regulation, and
interpersonal relationships.
Divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder can be a challenging and
emotionally draining process. Personality disorders are mental health
conditions that affect the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves, making
it difficult for them to form and maintain healthy relationships.
When a spouse has a personality disorder, it can be particularly challenging
to navigate the divorce process, as their behavior may be unpredictable
and volatile.
In this blog post, we will explore some of the challenges that may arise
when divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder, and I will provide
some tips for successfully navigating this challenging process.
Understanding Personality Disorders
The first step in divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder is to
understand what a personality disorder is and how it can affect your spouse's behavior.
Personality disorders are mental health conditions that affect a person's
thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. There are several different types of
personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder, narcissistic
personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.
People with personality disorders may have difficulty regulating their
emotions, which can lead to impulsive and erratic behavior. They may also
struggle with interpersonal relationships, as their behavior can be unpredictable
and difficult to understand. In some cases, people with personality disorders
may be manipulative, abusive, or controlling.
Developing a Support System
Divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder can be an isolating experience.
It is important to develop a support system of friends, family, and professionals
who can provide emotional support and guidance throughout the process.
This may include a therapist, a divorce attorney who is experienced in
dealing with high-conflict divorces, and a financial advisor who can help
you navigate the financial aspects of the divorce.
My unique psychologically based divorce method provides the comprehensive
support system necessary to navigate this complex process. This includes
a highly skilled legal team, multidisciplined medical professionals, financial
strategists, and private investigators, just to name a few.
Establishing Boundaries
When divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder, it is important to
establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from emotional and psychological
harm. This may include limiting contact with your spouse to the minimum
necessary for legal proceedings, avoiding communication outside of email
or written correspondence, and seeking a restraining order if necessary.
Working With a Skilled Divorce Attorney/ Mediator
When divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder, it is important to
work with a skilled divorce attorney who is experienced in dealing with
high-conflict divorces. Your attorney can help you navigate the legal
process and protect your rights while also providing emotional support
and guidance throughout the process.
Unlike other divorce attorneys, I have a legal and medical combination
of skills that can provide you with a comprehensive support system to
tackle all aspects of a personality disorder.
Document Everything
When divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder, it is important to
document everything. This includes any abusive or threatening behavior,
as well as any attempts to manipulate or control you. Keeping a detailed
record of your interactions with your spouse can be useful in court proceedings
and can help protect your legal rights.
Her are some of the most common types of personality disorders and their
effects on marriages.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized
by intense and unstable emotions, impulsive behavior, and difficulties
with interpersonal relationships. People with BPD may experience rapid
mood swings, engage in self-destructive behaviors, and have a distorted
sense of self-image.
In marriages, individuals with BPD may struggle with emotional regulation,
leading to conflicts with their partners over seemingly small issues.
They may also engage in impulsive and self-destructive behaviors, such
as substance abuse or infidelity, which can strain the relationship.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized
by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need
for admiration. People with NPD may have difficulty accepting criticism,
take advantage of others for their own gain, and lack insight into their
own behavior.
In marriages, individuals with NPD may prioritize their own needs and desires
over their partner's, leading to a sense of emotional neglect or abandonment.
They may also engage in manipulative behavior, such as gaslighting, in
order to maintain control over their partner.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Antisocial personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized
by a disregard for the rights of others, a lack of empathy, and a tendency
towards impulsive behavior. People with ASPD may engage in criminal behavior,
lie or deceive others for personal gain, and engage in reckless behavior
without regard for the consequences.
In marriages, individuals with ASPD may struggle to form genuine emotional
connections with their partner, leading to a sense of emotional distance
or coldness. They may also engage in impulsive or reckless behaviors,
such as infidelity or substance abuse, which can lead to conflict and
strain the relationship.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is a mental health condition
characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and
control. People with OCPD may have difficulty delegating tasks to others,
become upset when things do not go according to plan, and have rigid beliefs
about the "right" way to do things.
In marriages, individuals with OCPD may struggle with flexibility and compromise,
leading to conflict over household chores, parenting styles, and other
issues. They may also have difficulty expressing emotions or showing affection,
which can lead to a sense of emotional distance in the relationship.
Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD)
Avoidant personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized
by a fear of rejection, criticism, and failure. People with AVPD may avoid
social situations, have a limited social network, and feel inadequate
or inferior to others.
In marriages, individuals with AVPD may struggle with intimacy and emotional
connection, leading to a sense of emotional distance in the relationship.
They may also avoid conflict or difficult conversations, which can lead
to issues being left unresolved and strain the relationship.

Personality disorders can have a significant impact on marriages, leading
to difficulties with communication, emotional regulation, and interpersonal
relationships.
My special combination of legal and psychological strategies is unique
and effective when it comes to divorcing a spouse with a personality disorder.
My approach is emotionally compassionate, legally effective and highly
specialized. The understanding and proper guidance for this complicated
aspect is important for a psychologically safe and legally successful outcome.
For more than 35 years as a divorce attorney and mediator, I have been
guiding spouses successfully using my break-through mediation method where
psychology is at the heart of the divorce process.
Learn more about my highly successful methods for divorcing a spouse with
a personality disorder right now! Call me today!
Our
FREE 1-hour consultations are veryinformative and conveniently conducted virtually!
I look forward to helping you and your family.
Warm regards,
Lois
If you are married to a spouse with a personality disorder, there is hope!
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to schedule your FREE consultation.
212.734.1551