As a divorce attorney and psychologically trained mediator, I hear all kinds of diverse divorce stories. I have decided to share some of these stories monthly with you.
Naturally, I will change the names and some of the details to protect the confidentiality of my clients. The purpose of sharing these divorce stories with you is to let you know that you are not alone. There are peaceful, rational divorce solutions available to you. You really can have a happily-ever-after.
Rachel and Josh were married for 9 years. They had a 5-year-old son. They were both professionals. She was a dermatologist, he a stockbroker. They lived in Westchester.
When I received a phone call from Rachel, she was staying with her parents in Connecticut. She left a voice message saying she and her husband had decided to divorce and they were interested in mediation.
During our phone call, she told me that their marriage had been struggling for a long time because their families were not getting along. They were both Jewish but Josh was very religious. He wanted to send their son to a religious school and she wanted him to have a more inclusive school experience. Their families differed in that her family was more religiously liberal and his much more conservative. She felt her son was going to be suffocated by her husband and his parents.
When we started the mediation process it became clear to me that Josh was heavily controlled by his parents. They had a strong influence over him and his decisions. He was then overbearing when it came to how he treated his wife and son. He was actually very controlling. Rachel didn’t realize how controlling he was, but I saw it immediately. My psychiatric training has enabled me to spot behavior disorders in spouses and identify the effect it is having on the marriage.
Over the years, Josh had also been very verbally abusive to Rachel. This was affecting their 5-year- old son as well.
We continued along with our mediation sessions, and I was able to guide them both to listen to each other’s needs and wants. Josh was resistant to being forthcoming when it came to finances and we had some heated mediation sessions. He actually angrily removed himself from a session when he wasn’t getting his way.
I am quite skilled at helping couples navigate discussions and make important decisions even when they are angry. A seasoned mediator, like myself, can turn that behavior right around.
Josh was really making things difficult because he didn’t want the divorce. I realized that but he also knew Rachel was not going to stay married to him. She made it very clear that for her this marriage was over.
I was ultimately able to move their mediation along and provide them with some constructive ideas and solutions to several of their more complex challenges.
Their mediation process has not been easy. I realized Josh also needed some professional counseling and introduced him to one of the gifted psychologists on my team.
Some fair and important educational decisions were made with regard to their son’s education. Finances were addressed and split equally. Custody was shared and visitation was liberal.
If this sounds like you, please know that discussion, compassion, negotiation, and solid legal guidance can solve your divorce problems. The comprehensive focus of my psychologically based divorce mediation process can really help.
If you would like to share your story with me, call me. I will give you common sense answers to all your divorce questions. I will help you, as I did with Rachel and her family, to find a silver lining, using my powerful divorce mediation method.
All our FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.
I look forward to hearing your story, and helping you find the best possible solution. Even if you are both angry, mediation can work. I’ve got a unique family friendly approach to divorce, and I will be happy to share it with you.
Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to learn more about the magic of mediation and schedule your Free Consultation. 212.734.1551