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I Want a Divorce. Should I Move Out?


The answer is, “No!”

I tell clients never to leave their home (or hardly ever). Making this move can work against you when divorcing if not properly strategized.

I often hear from clients that once divorce is in the air it is extremely difficult to live together. Of course it is, that makes perfect sense. Who wants to smile over coffee, and pretend everything is okay? But thinking about divorce is no reason to make a quick, rash decision and leave your home. This impulsive decision can greatly impact your divorce process and settlement.

When having a consultation with an angry or scared spouse I always suggest they stay put unless they are in physical or emotional danger.

Here are 5 Moving Rules to consider:

  1. If you move out, it can be considered abandonment if your spouse claims it was abandonment; seek guidance from an attorney/mediator before leaving the marital residence. It is also difficult to make arrangements for child visitation once you are living apart.
  1. Think about how the bills will be paid, both for the marital residence, as well as the new residence. Physical separation does not make you exempt from paying bills. Think before you move. Talk to a lawyer/mediator before you suggest your own settlement. People make big mistakes in negotiating directly with a spouse before talking to a lawyer.
  1. If there is a physical threat of violence in your marriage, consider leaving the home and obtaining an Order of Protection; This legally documents the decision to leave the home was based on safety. Ask your attorney how to do this and what is required.
  1. If you are not sure if a separation will lead to a divorce consider having a separation agreement drafted and outline the living arrangements and the financial responsibilities of both a separation agreement and a divorce.
  1. Consider mediation if moving out is really important; this process takes less time and moving out of the marital residence can be rationally discussed and planned in a mediation session.

Please make an informed decision before taking that step out your front door. Leaving your home is an important move with ramifications for what you need to be aware of and prepared.

As a divorce attorney/mediator preparing clients properly and carefully for divorce is always my priority. Leaving the marital residence is just one important component of a complex, emotionally driven process.

Preparation for divorce is key. Making the right decisions will help you minimize legal complications and reduce emotional pain.

I can help you, let’s sit down and work out the details. Strategy is needed!

Call to schedule your free consultation! I have lots of good information to share with you! 212.734.1551.

Warm wishes