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What to Do When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce!


It is not unusual for a spouse to hear with no warning from the other that they want a divorce.

There can be a lot of factors influencing a partner to come to this decision. It could be another woman or man, a midlife crisis, psychological issues, or financial difficulties, especially during this never-ending pandemic.

Struggling relationships often end in divorce because the couple has stopped trying and drifted apart. Feelings are ignored and more often than not, one spouse wants to stay, while the other spouse wants to go.

Couples have become disconnected emotionally and physically. Most people who are contemplating divorce struggle with the question as to whether or not divorce is the right decision.

I tell couples during my divorce mediation process to talk about divorce in detail before ending their marriage.

When a spouse decides to end a marriage they have often made this decision in response to their needs not being met, a breakdown in communication, or simply not wanting to be married any longer.

Once you have the “divorce conversation,” it’s very important to get the proper guidance and professionals to support you.

My role as a divorce attorney and psychologically-trained mediator is to be supportive in a sad and difficult transition. I can pave the path to productive discussions amidst a flurry of very high emotions. I can help you find your “voice of reason” so that decisions are made in your best interest.

Here are 7 Tips to Get You on the Right Path to Your Divorce:

  1. Speak with a divorce attorney/mediator. Find out what your rights are and what you are entitled to.
  1. Consider mediation, which is less stressful, not adversarial, more manageable, amicable, cost effective, and less time consuming.
  1. Don’t rehash the past or obsess about having to know “why.” Divorce is about moving forward with knowledge and dignity. Knowing “why” will not make the process itself any easier.
  1. Acknowledge your emotions! They will range from tears, to anger, to wanting revenge. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt!
  1. Don’t try to hold on to someone who wants out. You don’t need to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You deserve much better!
  1. Start pulling together the important information you will need: tax documents, investment statements, W-2s, property titles, life insurance policies, and pension plans. Don’t forget to take a look at your expenses and start developing a budget.
  1. BREATHE! This is going to be a challenging process. Reach out to family and friends for support. Consider seeing a therapist, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I would be happy to speak with you and your spouse to explain the magic of mediation.

Mediation is a family and financially friendly approach to divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be painful, divisive, or expensive!

Having successfully served NYC for over 35 years as an experienced New York divorce attorney and medically-trained mediator, I can tell you a divorce with dignity is possible.

Call me to schedule a free discreet consultation. 212.734.1551.

During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic all our FREE CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.

I hope to hear from you!

Continue to stay healthy and safe!

Warm regards,


New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner is available to help you with your divorce!

Please call now to schedule your FREE consultation.

We can book a consultation for you immediately!

Call 212.734.1551