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5 Tips for Talking to Your Spouse About Divorce!


Josh and Leslie have been married for 12 years. They have a 5-year-old daughter with behavioral problems.

Josh is a National Hockey League executive, and Leslie works as an accountant.

For the past two years, Josh has been concerned that his wife has been in denial about their daughter’s mental health issues, and she is not willing to do everything possible to consider treatment.

Josh has repeatedly asked his wife to take their daughter to see different psychologists and to try different behavioral treatments. He has begged his wife to pay more attention to their daughter’s emotional and psychological needs.

He decided during the pandemic while being quarantined with his family that he had to make some really hard decisions in order to save his child.

After much deliberation, Josh decided to get a divorce and to be in a stronger position to help his daughter. The problem? He was having a really difficult time telling his wife while in quarantine with her, and he decided to call me to get some advice.

These days, this type of phone call for me is unfortunately the norm. With so many unhappy couples spending so much time together, in what has been a pressure cooker, couples are reaching out for help in record numbers.

The most asked question I receive is, “How do I talk to my spouse about divorce? I can’t do this anymore, but I’m afraid to bring divorce up. What can I do?”

Here are a few suggestions I make to those seeking help that seems to work:

1. Suggest therapy to your spouse and bring up your dissatisfaction with the relationship while working with the therapist. This can be accomplished in Zoom or Skype sessions.

2. Tell your spouse that now that you are spending so much time together, you realize there are some serious issues that need to be addressed.

3. Tell your partner that you seem to be on different paths, and suggest that you spend some time separately with your children.

4. Tell your spouse you think your relationship has been deteriorating, and ask his/her opinion.

5. Discuss divorce in the context of mediation which will permit the family to work with a third party who will facilitate healthy, progressive discussions in a compassionate, non-threatening virtual environment.

No matter what the answer or reaction, it is important to try to avoid an argument. I know this is difficult.

It is important to try to just listen and acknowledge that you hear your spouse. Don't push the discussion into details, and don’t start bringing up issues from the past. This takes a lot of finesse and self-control.

As a highly experienced, psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator with over 35 years of experience, I can guide you on several ways to approach the subject of divorce with your spouse. Don’t hesitate to call me.

During the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic all our FREE 1 HOUR CONSULTATIONS are conveniently conducted virtually to reduce risk.

We still have some appointments available for this week.

I look forward to helping you.

Stay healthy and safe!

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Attorney Lois Brenner now to book your Free 1 Hour Consultation.