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How Unromantic! My Fiance Wants a Prenuptial Agreement! Should I Still Marry Him?


This was a text I received from Joanne.

Her text continued and said,” I’m designing my wedding dress, selecting flowers, and tasting cakes for the happiest day of my life! Why is my fiance talking to me about a prenuptial agreement?

When Joanne and I spoke the next day she tearfully continued to tell me how heartbroken she was by her fiance’s behavior. She was seriously considering calling off the wedding.

Much of the stigma surrounding prenups—prenuptial agreements—has to do with the thought that, by signing this agreement before your marriage, you are planning for a divorce. But that is simply not true!

As a family law attorney and prenuptial agreement expert, I tell individuals that the truth is prenups can actually make a relationship stronger. It forces couples to set goals and create some guidelines for their marriage. It can benefit both parties, not just one.

To protect yourself and your future here are some of the issues you can address in a prenuptial agreement:

1. Define separate property - it can be property received both before and after marriage.

2. State whether the increase in value of separate property is separate property or marital property if the marriage ends; put in a specific joint account, a specific number, a specific number of years' worth of property, a specific percentage of property, either or both parties' income during the marriage, and so on. There is a statute that covers these issues in the event the marriage ends, and the agreement allows the couple to "opt out" of some or all of the law in this statute. Define mixed property, real estate ownership and income therefrom.

3. Define estate rights: how much of the other's estate does the partner receive upon the death of the spouse if still married and also if no longer married--what will go in your wills.

4. The possibility of life insurance; health insurance.

5. Issues around payment of bills and spending during the marriage and other important items such as religious observance, especially for any children.

6. Spousal support in the event of a dissolution of the marriage--amount, length of time, coverage by life insurance, disability insurance and other items, effect of presence of children, etc., usually for the dependent spouse.

7. Who remains in the marital residence in the event of a dissolution, and for how long.

8. The possible custody and visitation of any children (always subject to alteration by a court due to public policy) in the event of divorce.

9. Endless other issues, such as grandparents, travel—too numerous to mention and unique to every couple.

I tell couples that a prenuptial agreement is a “safety net.” If you marry and remain together

for a lifetime, then your prenuptial agreement will be irrelevant. But, if divorce does take place then the main benefit of a prenuptial agreement

will be it was fairly discussed and decided while you were both still in love.

By agreeing ahead of time, and defining your wishes in a prenuptial agreement, you will save money on attorneys, the divorce process will take less time, and will cause you both less trauma.

I’m happy to report, Joanne, after working with me, decided to not call off her wedding, signed a prenuptial agreement, which I drafted, and had a beautiful wedding at a lovely winery a few months ago!

If you are getting married and thinking about a prenuptial agreement, call me.

As a seasoned family law attorney with more than 35 years of experience, I have drafted thousands of prenuptial agreements. I am creative, can think outside the box, and will provide you with a prenuptial agreement tailored to your specific needs.

Don’t be afraid of a prenuptial agreement, if you do eventually divorce, you will be glad you had one!

Lots of couples ask how quickly I can draft a prenuptial agreement. Just give me your wedding date, and I promise to get you down the aisle with your prenup in hand!

Call me now to schedule your free consultation.

All our FREE CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.

Call me. Let’s work on your prenuptial agreement together!

And to all of you getting married, I send you warm wedding wishes,


New York family law attorney Lois Brenner

will help you understand the benefits of a prenuptial agreement!

Please call to schedule your FREE consultation now.

We can book a consultation for you immediately!

Call 212.734.1551