Skip to Content

Are You Tired of Being Controlled and Manipulated by Your Spouse?


Divorcing a controlling and manipulative spouse can be a scary and daunting process. However, it is essential to prioritize your well-being and regain control of your life, and I can help you!

As a medically trained divorce attorney/mediator for more than 35 years, I suggest you do the following to prepare yourself to leave this type of toxic relationship:

Educate Yourself on Your Rights

Divorce knowledge is power. Understand your legal rights, entitlements, and obligations. Consult with a divorce attorney/mediator to ensure you have a clear understanding of the legal process and how it applies to your specific situation.

Establish a Support System

Dealing with a controlling and manipulative spouse can be emotionally draining. Build a strong support system comprising trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Surrounding yourself with empathetic and understanding individuals will provide you with the emotional support needed during this challenging time.

Seek Professional Guidance

Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor specializing in divorce and relationship issues. Professional guidance can assist you in navigating the emotional complexities of divorcing a controlling and manipulative spouse. A therapist can also help you build resilience and develop strategies for effective communication and setting boundaries.

As part of my comprehensive divorce approach, I often recommend psychologists/psychiatrists who are part of my team to assist in the overall divorce process.

Establish Boundaries and Communicate Assertively

During mediation/divorce proceedings, it is essential to establish clear boundaries with your spouse. Don’t bargain with your spouse directly. Communicate assertively and firmly, expressing your needs and expectations. Avoid engaging in arguments or allowing yourself to be drawn into emotional manipulation.

Consult with a Skilled Attorney/Mediator

A knowledgeable divorce attorney/mediator with experience in dealing with controlling and manipulative spouses can be your strongest advocate. He or she will provide legal advice, protect your rights, and guide you through the divorce process. A skilled attorney can help you navigate negotiations, handle potential confrontations, and ensure a fair settlement.

I have a unique combination of medical/psychological and legal skills that puts anyone dealing with a mentally ill spouse in the driver’s seat in navigating a divorce.

Prepare for Financial Independence

If your controlling spouse has had a significant role in managing the finances, it is crucial to become financially independent. Gather financial documentation, including bank statements, tax returns, and investment records.

Consult with a financial advisor to understand your financial situation and plan for your future. Consider seeking employment or improving your job skills to secure your financial stability.

Divorcing a controlling and manipulative spouse can be an arduous journey, but with the right strategies and support, you can emerge stronger and regain control of your life.

Here are a few signs you are being controlled by your spouse:

  1. You don’t have knowledge of financial information, including income.
  2. You have separate bank accounts and savings.
  3. You are encouraged to stop working.
  4. You are discouraged from seeing your friends and family.
  5. You are the object of disparaging and threatening comments.
  6. You are criticized constantly.

My advice? Find the strength to end a controlling marriage! Call me, and I will help you!

As a divorce attorney/mediator with more than 35 years experience, my unique combination of legal and medical training can be very effective when it comes to helping a spouse gain freedom from a controlling spouse.

I look forward to speaking with you!

Warm regards,


New York divorce attorney Lois Brenner still has some appointments available this week.

Please call to schedule your free informative consultation now.

We can book a consultation for you immediately!

Call 212.734.1551