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What You Need to Know About Divorcing a Spouse With Borderline Personality Disorder!


What You Need to Know About Divorcing a Spouse With Borderline Personality Disorder!

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects a person's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It can make it difficult for them to have stable relationships and manage their emotions.

As a medically trained divorce attorney and mediator, I have identified and worked with many spouses suffering from borderline personality disorder. This type of mental illness is very destructive and infiltrates marriages in painful and profound ways. It is not easy for most people to understand what is happening but the chaos and dysfunction of this disorder is very unhealthy.

Here are 10 common traits of borderline personality disorder that you might recognize in your spouse.

1. Fear of abandonment

People with BPD may have an intense fear of being abandoned, which can lead to a pattern of unstable relationships.

2. Unstable sense of self

They may have a difficult time defining their own identity, and their self-image may fluctuate rapidly.

3. Impulsive behavior

BPD can lead to impulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, reckless driving, and risky sexual behavior.

4. Intense and unstable relationships

Relationships with those who have BPD can be tumultuous, with intense emotions and frequent changes in closeness and distance.

5. Mood swings

People with BPD may experience intense and rapid mood swings, often triggered by external events.

6. Suicidal thouhts or behaviors

Those with BPD may struggle with suicidal thoughts or engage in self-harm behaviors as a coping mechanism.

7. Intense fear of rejection

They may fear rejection so intensely that they will act in ways that will push people away.

8 Extreme black-and-white thinking

BPD can cause individuals to view people and situations in all-or-nothing terms.BPD can cause individuals to view people and situations in all-or-nothing terms.

9. Difficulty managing emotions

People with BPD may struggle to regulate their emotions leading to extreme reactions to even minor events.

10. Chronic feelings of emptiness

They may feel a chronic sense of emptiness that cannot be filled by external experiences or relationships.

Divorcing a spouse with borderline personality disorder can be very challenging. Here are some of my successful strategies for divorcing a spouse with BPD:

Establish boundaries: It is important to establish clear boundaries and communicate them to your spouse. This can include setting limits on communication, establishing a visitation schedule, and avoiding triggers that may escalate conflict.

Be consistent: Consistency can be helpful in managing the unpredictable behavior of someone with BPD. Stick to your agreed-upon boundaries and avoid making promises you can't keep.

Practice empathy: Although it may be difficult, practicing empathy towards your spouse can help you manage your own emotions and potentially de-escalate conflict. Remember that they are struggling with a mental health condition and try to approach them with compassion while protecting yourself and planning a safe exit strategy.

Seek professional support: A medically trained divorce attorney, like me, is key to navigating this complex disorder in a divorce.

If you are in a marriage with a spouse with borderline personality disorder, you need specialized legal/psychological help.

My unique combination of legal and medical training is very effective when it comes to helping someone divorce a spouse with this type of mental illness.

All our FREE CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.

If you can find the strength, pick up the phone and call me, I will guide you safely toward the best divorce solutions.

I know it’s scary and confusing. Become educated and learn what is possible during a free consultation with me.

I look forward to helping you!

Warm regards,


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