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8 Tips for Outsmarting a Narcissist in Your Divorce!


Divorcing a narcissistic spouse can be scary, emotionally challenging, and exhausting. Narcissists are known for their manipulative tactics and self-centered behavior, which can make negotiations and settlements particularly difficult when trying to divorce!

As a medically-trained divorce attorney/mediator with a specialty in psychiatry, which includes narcissism, I have a unique ability to guide spouses married to narcissists towards a legally safe and emotionally secure path to divorce.

I provide spouses with careful planning and strategic approaches to outsmart a narcissistic spouse and to achieve a favorable outcome in their divorce.

Let me provide you with eight valuable tips to help you navigate the divorce process when dealing with a narcissistic spouse.

1. Educate Yourself About Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Understanding the characteristics and behaviors associated with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is crucial in preparing yourself for the divorce. By gaining knowledge about NPD, you can recognize the patterns of manipulation and emotional abuse often employed by narcissists. This knowledge will empower you to develop effective strategies for protecting your rights and maintaining your emotional well-being throughout the process.

2. Always Stay One Step Ahead

Narcissists often employ unexpected tactics to gain an advantage. Stay one step ahead by anticipating their moves and responding strategically. Avoid engaging in their attempts to provoke emotional reactions, and instead, maintain a calm and collected demeanor. Consult with your attorney/mediator before responding to any demands or proposals, ensuring that your actions align with your legal objectives.

3. Gather Documentation

Narcissists often try to distort facts and manipulate the truth to their advantage. To counter their tactics, it is essential to gather all necessary documentation related to your marital assets, finances, and any incidents of abuse or mistreatment. This evidence will serve as a strong foundation to support your claims and help ensure a fair division of assets and custody arrangements.

4. Set Boundaries

Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. Establishing clear boundaries from the outset of the divorce is essential to protect yourself from their tactics. Clearly communicate your expectations and boundaries in a calm and assertive manner. It is crucial to remain firm and not allow yourself to be drawn into unnecessary arguments or power struggles. Don’t negotiate with your spouse.

5. Seek Professional Support

Divorcing a narcissist can be an isolating experience, and it is crucial to have a strong support system in place. Reach out to a trusted therapist, support group, or divorce attorney/mediator who specializes in narcissistic relationships. These professionals can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice to help you navigate the challenges you may face during the divorce process.

6. Maintain a Detailed Record

Keep a thorough record of all interactions with your narcissistic spouse, including emails, text messages, and conversations. Document instances of abusive behavior, lies, or manipulation. This record will serve as evidence in court and help counter any false accusations or distortions of the truth. Don’t leave a list where your spouse will find it.

7. Choose an Experienced Attorney/Mediator

Selecting an attorney/mediator who has experience dealing with high-conflict divorces involving narcissistic personalities is crucial. Look for an attorney/mediator who understands the dynamics of narcissism and can develop effective strategies to protect your interests.

A skilled attorney/mediator will guide you through the legal process, provide objective advice, and work towards a fair resolution.

As a medically-trained divorce attorney/mediator, I took a special interest in the study of narcissism when I started to see so many marriages being affected by the destructive effects of a narcissistic spouse. It was this focus that encouraged me to develop a comprehensive system to address not just narcissism but other mental heath issues plaguing marriages and often overlooked by other divorce attorneys and the traditional court system.

8. Focus on Your Well-being

Divorcing a narcissist can take a toll on your emotional well-being. It is vital to prioritize self-care and focus on your own healing throughout the process. Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek therapy or counseling, and surround yourself with positive influences. Taking care of yourself will help you stay grounded and make more rational decisions during the divorce proceedings.

We actually provide well-being divorce packages as part of our divorce process to encourage self-love and promote good health while navigating a divorce to a narcissist.

A narcissist is a toxic, high maintenance personality that you can’t manage alone!

If I can help you navigate a divorce path out of this type of marriage, let me know.

I am familiar with the traits of a narcissist and uniquely trained as both a medical professional and divorce attorney/mediator to help you successfully and safely divorce the narcissist in your life.

It is possible to outsmart your narcissistic spouse with the right legal and psychological support. We can help you! You don’t have to walk this divorce path alone!

All our FREE 1-HOUR CONSULTATIONS are still available virtually.

Warm regards,


Call New York Divorce Lawyer Lois Brenner now to rid your life of a narcissist.

Schedule your free consultation right now!

Call 212.734.1551