Divorce Negotiation Blog | Lois M. Brenner, Esq.

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 27-May-2022

Do You Know What The Grounds Are for Divorce in New York?

As a divorce attorney/mediator for over 35 years, I am often asked during a consultation about the grounds for divorce in New York. There are seven grounds for divorce. Irretrievable breakdown was added in 2010 as a legal reason – making it ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 30-Oct-2020

Do I Need to Hire a Lawyer If I am Mediating my Divorce?

As a psychologically-trained divorce attorney and mediator, I am uniquely skilled as both an attorney and a mediator. When I am wearing my mediator hat and guiding a couple in the mediation process, I sometimes suggest spouses consult with an ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 7-Oct-2020

Taking Your First Divorce Step!

When did you start thinking about divorce? Was it during the coronavirus pandemic? Was it because of finances, fighting, infidelity, control issues, social media postings, or did you simply fall out of love? Couples don’t just wake up one day ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 5-Oct-2020

What is a Statement of Net Worth?

What is a Statement of Net Worth? When divorcing, a Statement of Net Worth is that annoying financial form your attorney/mediator sticks in front of you and says, “Fill it out!” You look at it, start sweating, and think, “Oh no! ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 2-Oct-2020

Is Your Spouse Bipolar?

A divorcing couple met with me virtually for mediation. The husband had significant outstanding credit card bills. He also drank quite a bit. The wife wanted a divorce and they had one child. Whenever we had a meeting, the husband dominated the ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 18-Sep-2020

What Should Be In Your Separation Agreement?

Are you thinking of divorce? Well, you’re not alone. With approximately 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, this is not as uncommon as you think. An important part of the divorce process is developing an agreement with which you are both ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 29-Jul-2020

Litigation? Mediation? Which Path Will You Choose?

There are two ways to get divorced in New York. One is litigation, the old traditional way in court. Both parties hire an attorney and they fight it out. The other path is the new, more progressive process of mediation. An attorney/mediator guides a ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 27-Jul-2020

Choose Mediation!

Did you Know You Can Divorce Without Lawyers? It’s time to harness the power to manage your own divorce with my groundbreaking psychologically-infused divorce mediation method that approaches divorce both with head (legal) and with heart ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 19-Jun-2020

Will I Receive Spousal Support?

I’ve been speaking with a lot of spouses recently who are concerned about whether or not they will receive spousal support. It is a fair question. There are many issues that must be handled when a couple decides to file for divorce. One issue ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 8-May-2020

What is a "Gray Divorce?"

A Gray Divorce refers to a demographic trend that has seen an increase in the separation or divorce of older couples who have been married for a long time. Divorce rates for couples over 50 have doubled in the past decade. These divorces affect ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 4-May-2020

When Divorcing - 3 Tips for Getting Your Estate in Order

Divorce is unpleasant. It’s an extremely difficult time emotionally. I work with divorcing couples all the time who share their sadness, confusion, anxiety and unhappiness with me. It’s a big struggle. When divorcing there is a lot to do, ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 22-Apr-2020

Getting a Divorce with a Business in the Family

Divorces for people who own businesses are different from those of wage earners. First of all, businesses often have cash income which is not declared on tax returns. This makes it difficult to estimate or trace the true income. Businesses are ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 8-Apr-2020

Cheating During the Coronavirus Pandemic!

Even though we are busy battling the coronavirus, I recently received an emergency call from a man who had just discovered his wife was having an affair. He had gone to his wife’s phone to check for the time for a teleconference with his ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 19-Mar-2020

8 Things to Include in Your Separation Agreement

Are you and your spouse thinking of divorce? Are you familiar with a separation agreement? The first step in the process of divorce after the couple has negotiated their “deal” is the drafting of a separation agreement. This is a legal ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 16-Mar-2020

I Want a Divorce. Should I Move Out?

The answer is, “No!” I tell clients never to leave their home (or hardly ever). Making this move can work against you when divorcing if not properly strategized. I often hear from clients that once divorce is in the air it is extremely ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 11-Mar-2020

You Don't Need an Attorney to Get a Divorce!

It’s true! If you are unhappy in your marriage and you have tried everything, the clock is ticking and it’s time to harness the power to manage your own divorce with my groundbreaking psychologically-infused divorce mediation method that ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 9-Mar-2020

Do You Have a Right to a Family Business in Divorce?

Divorce is no doubt an emotional nightmare, but it is also a financial and legal separation of a couple, and their family. When considering divorce, spouses have a lot to consider financially like budgets, assets, property and retirement accounts. ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 26-Feb-2020

My Best 2020 Divorce Advice!

Divorce is traditionally a painful and dreaded process, but it doesn’t have to be as awful as you expect! To help you with your 2020 divorce goals, I’m sharing my suggestions for protecting yourself, your family and your finances. As a ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 3-Feb-2020

Tips to Avoid Divorce Disasters

When people decide to divorce it is usually in the whirlwind of heightened emotion. People are not always thinking rationally in this mindset. I often caution clients not to be reactive when thinking about divorcing. I suggest they stop, think and ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 27-Jan-2020

Did you know You May Not be Entitled to Spousal Support?

Thinking of divorce? Are you worried about how you will survive financially? Not all spouses are entitled to support. Not everyone has to pay spousal support. Each circumstance is unique based on the details of your marriage. So if you are trying to ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 20-Jan-2020

3 Tips to Settle a Child Custody Dispute

As a seasoned family law attorney, mediator, and psychologically-trained medical professional, I regularly counsel mothers and fathers going through divorce who are considering a custody action. Often these concerned parents have a fair amount of ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 15-Jan-2020

What is Equitable Distribution?

Upon divorce, marital property in New York State is supposed to be divided equitably. It is not an "equal" or automatic 50-50 distribution between spouses, as it is in community property states like California. Marital property is property ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 11-Dec-2019

5 Tips for Co-Parenting During the Holidays!

The greatest wish of many children of divorce during the holidays is that Mom and Dad will get back together. Even though the sad truth is that this probably is not going to happen, you as responsible parents can cooperate, and make the holidays as ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 9-Dec-2019

What is a Statement of Net Worth?

When divorcing, a Statement of Net Worth is that annoying financial form your attorney/mediator sticks in front of you and says, “Fill it out!” You look at it, start sweating, and think, “Oh no! Where do I start?” I find that ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 27-Nov-2019

Lois Brenner's New York Divorce 101!

When did you start thinking about divorce? Was it because of finances, fighting, infidelity, control issues, social media postings, or did you simply fall out of love? Couples don’t just wake up one day and decide they want a divorce. A lot of ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 25-Nov-2019

4 Tips to Avoid Divorce Disaster!

Litigation sucks! No doubt. I try to help clients avoid it whenever possible. But sometimes it’s the only way to have a spouse sit up and listen. But make no mistake, if you are not mentally aware and legally prepared your divorce can be a ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 21-Nov-2019

Is Social Media Killing Your Marriage?

When a young woman called me and said, “Social Media Killed My Marriage,” I told her I wasn’t surprised. More and more this is a chief complaint and cause for divorce. Couples don’t realize social media networking ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 13-Nov-2019

My Separation Agreement Checklist!

Are you thinking of Divorce? Well, you’re not alone. With 40%-50% of all marriages ending in divorce this is not as uncommon as you think. An important part of the divorce process is developing an agreement you can both live with. An agreement ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 2-Oct-2019

To Trick or Treat?

What divorcing/divorced parents can do so Halloween isn’t a nightmare! When you got divorced did you discuss Halloween as part of your visitation schedule? Probably not. After all, it’s not Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hannukkah! It is ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 4-Mar-2019

Is Your Spouse Paying Taxes?

Is Your Spouse Paying the Taxes? It’s that time of year again. Dreaded tax time! For those getting a divorce, taxes are the least of their worries. But let me share with you a story that will open your eyes and make you think twice. After ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 6-Feb-2019

DIVORCE PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

DIVORCE PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Traditionally couples in the millions get engaged on this day. Being in the field of family law as an attorney for more than thirty-five years, I expect that fifty ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 16-Jul-2018

3 Best Methods to Settle a Custody Dispute

3 Best Methods to Settle a Custody Dispute Last week, I read that Nia Vardalos, the My Big Fat Greek Wedding (funny movie!) star, and Ian Gomez sadly filed for divorce after 25 years of marriage. They cited irreconcilable differences and asked for ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 2-Jul-2018

DIVORCE: With or Without Lawyers!

DIVORCE: With or Without Lawyers! I have been educating clients and the public for many years on how divorce doesn’t always have to be down and dirty. Divorce can be handled in a variety of ways. I can help you explore your options. You can ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 1-Jun-2018

MORE MILLENNIALS SEEK PRENUPS!!

MORE MILLENNIALS SEEK PRENUPS!! It’s that time of year again when many couples will be walking down the aisle. To have or not to have a prenuptial agreement is not the most romantic conversation to have as you are tasting wedding cake fillings ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 22-May-2018

Lois Brenner in The New York Times!

Take a look at my Letter to the Editor at The New York Times on Mediating Abusive Relationships. You may find it interesting! If you or someone you know is being abused I can show you how mediation can be helpful when dealing with abusive ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 10-May-2018

DO ROYALS HAVE PRENUPS?

DO ROYALS HAVE PRENUPS? Should you? When anyone ties the knot there is a lot at stake, but when you’re Royal that usually includes a whole lot of money! You may be surprised to learn when it comes to the royal family in England, prenups are ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 1-May-2018

Is Your Spouse Hiding Assets?

Divorcing? Is Your Spouse Hiding Assets? When a client comes to see me to discuss divorce it is not unusual for me to hear “I think my spouse is hiding assets. I have no idea what assets we have, or where they are. What do I do?” At many ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 6-Apr-2018

Are you ready to build your "Bird Nest?"

Are you ready to build your “Bird Nest?” Have you all seen the new show “Splitting Up Together”? It is a new series that airs Tuesday nights at 9:30 PM on ABC. It is about a couple that falls out of love, (as many do these ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 13-Mar-2018

GET YOUR "FREE" DIVORCE PERSONALITY QUIZ!!!!

GET YOUR “FREE” DIVORCE PERSONALITY QUIZ!!!! Head (Legal Strategy) + Heart (Emotions) “Unlike any other Divorce Attorney” Lois M. Brenner, Esq., PA-C, is a renowned New York Divorce Attorney, an accredited Divorce Mediator and ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 12-Mar-2018

ARE YOU ENTITLED TO SPOUSAL SUPPORT?

ARE YOU ENTITLED TO SPOUSAL SUPPORT? Sometimes clients are confused as to how spousal support works. As a psychologically-trained mediator and divorce attorney, I often define what spousal support is and how it applies to a couple’s situation ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 2-Mar-2018

FINANCIAL DIVORCE "SMARTS"

FINANCIAL DIVORCE “SMARTS” Are you financially ready to get divorced? Even if you are not quite ready to get divorced, you need to be informed and Financially Smart. Deciding to Divorce is a complex process. Deciding how easy or difficult ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 28-Feb-2018

Father's Rights: More than Just Child Support Payments

Father’s Rights: More than Just Child Support Payments “The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” - Abbé Prévost, Manon Lescaut When a married couple goes through a divorce, one of the most contested issues ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 14-Feb-2018

Lois Brenner In The News!

Till Trump do us part: The president's effect on US marriages By Jade Scipioni Published February 13, 2018 Personal Finance FOXBusiness Couples still have not altered their political affiliations and... Trump still do so,” Lois Brenner, a ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 1-Feb-2018

FOUR TIPS TO DIVORCE PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

FOUR TIPS TO DIVORCE PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Traditionally, millions of couples get engaged on this day. Being an attorney in the field of family law for more than thirty-five years, I expect that ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 8-Jan-2018

Divorce Without Lawyers

DIVORCE WITHOUT LAWYERS What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “divorce?” “Fight!” “Hire a divorce lawyer.” For 2017 Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and Janet Jackson and Wissma al Mana come to ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 5-Jan-2017

A Better Way To Divorce in 2017!

Did you know January is Divorce month? Most couples who have been thinking about divorce tend to move forward in the New Year. They have struggled to make it through the holidays and now they want a fresh start. What most couples don’t know is ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 8-Dec-2016

Is Social Media Killing Your Marriage?

When a young woman called me last week and said, “Social Media Killed My Marriage,” I told her I wasn’t surprised. More and more this is a chief complaint and cause for divorce. Couples don’t realize social media networking ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 18-Oct-2016

To Trick or Treat?

TO TRICK OR TREAT? What divorcing/divorced parents can do so Halloween isn’t a nightmare! When you got divorced did you discuss Halloween as part of your visitation schedule? Probably not. After all it’s not Thanksgiving, Christmas or ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 12-Oct-2016

Are you thinking of pulling the plug on your marriage?

Courtesy of HBO Sarah Jessica Parker’s new show “Divorce” on HBO which aired on October 9 th introduces us to Frances (Parker), a corporate headhunter with two children. She is an unhappy, middle-aged, and a disconnected woman ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 22-Sep-2016

When Should You Ask For Sole Physical Custody of the Children?

WHEN SHOULD YOU ASK FOR SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF THE CHILDREN? On Tuesday we heard the sad news that Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt after twelve years together, and two years married. The papers file in Los Angeles cited ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 29-Mar-2016

Navigating the Divorce Process: Know Your Options

If you are contemplating a divorce in New York, you know that this isn’t a decision you should make hastily. It is important to know your options as well as the various ways in which you can achieve your end goal. It is also equally important ...

Posted By Lois Brenner 27-Jun-2015

Divorce. With or Without Lawyers

I am so excited to share with you the development of my new book “Divorce: With or Without Lawyers!” I have been educating clients and the public for many years on how divorce doesn’t always have to be down and dirty. Divorce can be ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 8-Nov-2012

So You're Getting a Divorce-Does that Mean You Need to Fight in Court?

Going through a divorce can be one of the most emotionally painful things a person can experience. Two people once united by love or some semblance thereof are now divided due to infidelity, emotional or physical distance, mental or bodily abuse, and ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 20-Jul-2011

Are You Entitled to Rehabilitative Maintenance?

As a divorce attorney and mediator it is my responsibility to inform clients of what they are entitled to when considering a divorce. Women, in particular, don’t realize they may be entitled to Rehabilitative Maintenance. For those of you who ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 25-Jan-2011

Parenting Classes for Divorce

It is my goal as a divorce attorney and mediator to introduce my clients to all the tools necessary to see them through the difficult divorce process with as much support as possible. That is why as part of my evaluation of each divorce case, I ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 21-Dec-2010

Divorce and Your Credit Score

Are you thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions and about making some changes in your life. If you are thinking about getting a divorce, your credit score may be the last thing on your mind, but you’d better think twice. Divorce can ...

Posted By Lois M. Brenner, Esq. 24-Nov-2010

Divorce Mediation - The Peaceful Alternative

As we approach the holidays, the end of one year and the beginning of a new one, many couples who are having difficulties in their marriage start thinking about making changes in the new year. For many couples that means-divorce. For couples that ...

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